Why Moms Feel Disconnected From Their Bodies (What it Takes to Healing and Reclaiming Pleasure & Intimacy)
- Gaby Bueno
- Dec 31
- 4 min read
On our opening episode of Season 4 of the Mom's Talk Sex podcast, we had one of those conversations that stays with you long after it ends.
I sat down with feminine embodiment and intimacy coach Jane Nguyen to talk about something so many women silently struggle with: feeling disconnected from their bodies, numb in intimacy, stuck in survival mode, and unsure how to truly feel safe enough to receive love again.
And honestly… this conversation felt deeply healing.
Because the truth is, so many women are walking around disconnected from themselves without even realizing it.
We’re constantly doing. Constantly giving. Constantly taking care of everyone else.
And somewhere along the way, we stop feeling ourselves.
“I Was There Physically, But Not Emotionally”
Jane opened up about her own journey with sexual trauma and how it impacted her relationships and connection to herself.
Growing up in a culture where sexuality was heavily suppressed, she shared that she became deeply disconnected from her body and feminine expression early on. Later, after experiencing emotional, physical, and sexual abuse in a past relationship, she entered a loving relationship with her now-husband and realized something important:
Even though she was finally safe… her body still didn’t feel safe.
During intimacy, she would freeze, disconnect, and leave her body emotionally. And if you’ve ever experienced that, please know you are not broken. This is often what trauma does.
When the nervous system experiences trauma, especially sexual trauma, the body can stay stuck in survival mode long after the actual experience is over.
This can show up as:
Emotional numbness
Anxiety during intimacy
Disconnection during sex
Difficulty receiving love
Feeling “in your head” instead of in your body
Struggling to surrender emotionally or physically
Healing Started When She Slowed Down
One of the most powerful things Jane shared was that healing didn’t happen through “trying harder” to be sexy, confident, or open. It happened when she slowed down enough to actually feel herself.
Instead of performing during intimacy, she began allowing herself to truly meet whatever emotions were there:
grief
tears
fear
frustration
numbness
And slowly, her body began to feel safe again.
This is something we talked deeply about on the podcast — how so many women live disconnected from their bodies because we’ve been conditioned to override ourselves for years.
We rush. We perform. We push through. We stay in survival mode.
But healing happens in the slowing down. Because when the body finally feels safe enough, emotions that were trapped inside begin to move.
And that’s not a bad thing.That’s actually the healing.
Motherhood Can Make Women Forget Themselves
One moment that hit deeply during our conversation was when Jane talked about motherhood. As moms, we spend so much time taking care of everyone else that we slowly lose touch with ourselves.
Not completely. But pieces of us begin to disappear. The playful parts. The sensual parts. The joyful parts. The woman underneath all the responsibilities.
Jane described finally reconnecting with herself through embodiment work as feeling “alive” again. And honestly, I know so many women listening will understand that feeling instantly.
That moment where you suddenly remember: “Oh… there I am.”
That feeling of finally coming home to yourself again is priceless.
Embodiment Is Learning How to Be In Your Body Again
We also talked about what embodiment actually means because the word can sound intimidating or overly spiritual.
But embodiment is actually simple: It’s learning how to be present in your body instead of constantly living in your mind.
It’s learning:
what you feel
what you desire
what your boundaries are
what turns you on
what shuts you down
what safety feels like inside your body
Jane explained something so beautifully:
"If a woman struggles to express anger, grief, or emotion in general, she will often struggle to express pleasure too. Because sexuality is connected to expression. The more free you are emotionally, the more free you become sexually, intimately, and energetically."
Simple Embodiment Practices for Busy Moms
One thing we both agreed on is that healing doesn’t have to look perfect. Most moms do not have hours every day for deep self-care rituals. So Jane shared some beautiful, realistic ways women can reconnect with themselves throughout the day.
Slow Down During Everyday Moments
Instead of rushing through your shower, pause for two minutes and actually feel the water on your skin.
When applying lotion, slow down and nurture your body instead of treating it like another task.
When eating, savor your food.
These tiny moments teach your nervous system that it’s safe to be present again.
Follow Joy
This part felt especially important. We spend so much time talking about trauma and healing that sometimes we forget healing also includes joy.
Ask yourself: What makes me feel alive? What excites me? What lights me up?
Follow that. Joy is healing too.
Make Intimacy a Priority
Whether it’s intimacy with yourself or your partner, it matters.
As moms, if we don’t intentionally make space for connection, it often disappears under the weight of daily life. Put it in the calendar if you need to. Protect that time. Your relationship with yourself deserves that care too.
Final Thoughts: You Are Allowed to Feel Alive Again
More than anything, this conversation was a reminder that healing is not about becoming someone else. It’s about returning to yourself.
Returning to your body. Your emotions. Your pleasure. Your softness. Your truth.
And if you’ve been feeling disconnected, numb, overwhelmed, or stuck in survival mode, we hope this conversation reminds you that you are not alone. And with enough safety, slowness, compassion, and presence… it is possible to feel alive again.
Connect With Jane Nguyen
Jane Nguyen is a feminine embodiment and intimacy coach helping women reconnect with their bodies, sexuality, pleasure, and emotional expression.
You can connect with her here:
And for more conversations around intimacy, healing, relationships, motherhood, and sexuality, listen to the Mom's Talk Sex hosted by Mor Yelvington, available on Youtube and Spotify.
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